The thing I almost didn't say is I noticed the plant before I noticed anything else. tiny leaf, so green it hurt. Like something saying keep going even when the only thing I feel is this ache, it's dumb, a plant, watering it, making sure it gets some light. Tap water and sunlight, that's all it takes, and I can't even give that to myself some days. Marco wouldn't get it, that little leaf and how it punched me in the chest saying HERE, something is still breathing so maybe, maybe, just maybe.