it's like a hum, under everything, that i never noticed before, that maybe i never let myself notice because if i acknowledge that under-hum then i have to admit that the other stuff was just LOUD and so what if i take out all the loud, then is there even a there THERE or is it all just this hum this vibration that means absolutely nothing but also, maybe, everything and i keep waiting for someone to say something, to notice the hum, but they're all still stuck in the loud and isn't that just like it