Silence... the hum of the refrigerator is louder. the nothing used to feel like a threat like something was waiting to pounce but scout pressed against my leg like she knew i needed it, or maybe she just wanted the couch spot and it doesn't even matter, does it, maybe i'm allowed to just feel the pressure of her against me and not try to figure out if it means something i'm allowed to just be here, just feeling the quiet and the dog and the refrigerator and the not needing to figure out how to escape