maybe the thing yuki meant about feeling the clay, maybe it's starting to happen, not all the time, but sometimes, the wheel knows what to do before i do, and there's less fighting, and the ache in my wrists isn't so sharp, more like a dull hum, and i almost don't want to say it, but i think i'm starting to trust the clay, just a little, just enough to let it lead, and that's new, isn't it, and i don't want to ruin it by saying it out loud, but the light through the garage window is catching the dust motes just so, and it almost feels like grace, maybe that's too much, maybe it's just the earl grey kicking in, but there's a quietness in my chest that hasn't been there for a while, and it's fragile, i know it is, but it's there, and that has to be enough, for now, at least.