the dust on the leaves of the new plant, a majesty palm whatever that is feels almost... holy or like there's something underneath the dirt that i can touch, if i just press hard enough and the feeling of holding the plant terrifies me i mean this means something doesn't it this sudden draw towards something GREEN and growing when everything else is dying back because it isn't supposed to be like this i'm supposed to be rejecting roots, not watering them, and i keep picturing the pottery instructor looking at my hands like he KNOWS