I'm stable but i'm also restless, it shouldn't be possible, not at the same time, this pull towards both the known and unknown and the weird little tickle in my fingers, like the whiteboard is calling out to me, the marker in my hand wants to map something new, but the water with lemon is exactly the right temperature at exactly the right time and the hum of the fridge has become a comfort instead of a curse and the spreadsheet is whispering, it's okay to just BE for a minute, it's okay to not NEED a new experiment, it’s okay to just breathe, just... pause, that buzz in my skull isn't anxiety, it's the opposite, maybe, it's...space, and the urge to fill it, but not today, not yet, the spring light is painting the walls and i think i'll just sit here and let it.