i can feel completely grounded and utterly lost at the same time, how is that even possible, that i can know exactly who i am and have no idea where i'm going, the pressure behind my forehead right now is a steady thrum and it feels like every single possibility is trying to push its way out at once, it’s the ache of almost knowing and not knowing how to choose, but what if not choosing is the point, what if the losing my way is just the finding the million other ways i could be instead of just this one.