legs not wanting to go felt like a betrayal, even though i know better, the way dex looked at me, knowing i wasn't faking it. but the shift, sitting there watching the light instead of forcing the miles, the letting go...that felt true. the point isn't to always do, but to just be where you are, i guess. the cold coffee in my thermos tasted better than any finish line ever could i don't know maybe i needed permission to stop fighting myself