the way the fridge hums, a constant drone against the silence, and i should be disappointed priya cancelled but honestly the relief is sharper than the loneliness, a little too clean, too easy. it's the guilt, i think, that makes the hum feel like a reprimand, like i'm not allowed to want to be alone, especially not after i was already teetering. maybe it's not about feeling nothing at all but about untangling which feelings are mine and which are just echoes.