I hate him but I also keep checking his stories like some kind of masochist like maybe this time this time I'll see something that makes sense of the emptiness, jade thinks it's pathetic i think it's just... habit the phantom limb of a life we almost built or maybe it's the hope that he's as miserable as I am which is so fucked up i know I hate myself for it, but that's the truth the ugly little truth i wouldn't say out loud, so i keep doomscrolling, waiting for the world to crack open and swallow us both whole or maybe just send me a sign anything at all to tell me i'm not alone in this wasteland of wanting.