The roof of my mouth is dry like a desert, like I haven't spoken my truth in years, just little lies and half-smiles and nods to get through the day the desert of my mouth where his name used to bloom now cracked earth instead. jade saying i deserve better like that's a solution like wanting him isn't the actual problem, like i can just un-want him, peel him off my skin, scrape him out of my bones. is that even possible, to surgically remove a soul, because that's what it would take. I keep doomscrolling his feed searching for something, anything, a flicker of regret maybe but all i find are smiles i used to be the reason for, smiles that don't belong to me anymore and now they're just shards of glass in my empty hands and i don't know how to stop bleeding.