it’s like everyone else got the instructions and i didn’t. they all know how to be…this. and i’m just here, pretending to understand the language. the half marathons were the closest i got, maybe that's why i run them to begin with. but even that's just another mask, isn't it? a socially acceptable form of…escaping. i think i'm finally starting to realize that small wins are all there is, there’s no big grand change, only the bathroom, the steering wheel, the miles…and maybe that's enough, maybe it has to be.