That thing my therapist said about finding the feeling. Not naming it, just FINDING it in the body. Where is it living RIGHT NOW. Mine's in my chest, a tight fist. And in my jaw. Clenched. I'm supposed to just sit with it. Feel it. But it feels like holding a live wire. Like if I really let myself FEEL it the whole system will just. shut. down. maybe I should try decaf again the regular is just making it worse. I can feel it in my bones now.