It's funny how the smallest things can crack you open, a song on the radio, a stranger's smile, a memory that wasn't even that good to begin with but it's enough now. Beans is purring on my lap, it's almost annoying but the sound is also grounding and like the only real thing right now and maybe that's the point. i think i might actually make it through this, not unscathed god no, but maybe not broken beyond repair, i don't know it's a fleeting thought but it's there, a goddamn maybe when all i've felt is hell.