i ran today. first time in what feels like forever. my lungs burned and my legs screamed but i didn't stop. i kept going. i pushed through. it wasn't easy. it was HARD. everything is so hard right now but maybe that's the point. maybe the hardness is what makes it real. what makes it MEAN something. dr kim would say something about facing the discomfort. embracing it. but it's more than that. it's not just about embracing the discomfort it's about finding the tiny sliver of light within it. the spark. the little flicker of something that says i'm still here. i'm still fighting. i'm still alive. and that's enough. that HAS to be enough. the sun felt good on my face though. i almost forgot what that felt like.