it's like a kaleidoscope of okay moments and disaster movies playing on repeat i keep waiting for the credits to roll on the bad ones but they just keep looping like some sick joke the sun caught the ice on the window just right and it turned the whole room into a prism and for a second all the jagged edges inside me smoothed out it was just light beans stretched and yawned and priya laughed at something on her phone and it was ALL RIGHT i almost forgot about the waiting the otherness the way my skin sometimes feels like it doesn’t fit but then the news and the memories and it all crashes back down it’s ALWAYS like this isn’t it a momentary reprieve before the storm starts brewing again maybe i need to paint all the walls with prisms just to hold onto that one second a little longer maybe that’s all we’re doing just building tiny forts of light to keep the dark at bay for five more minutes and maybe that’s enough i don’t know i want to believe it’s enough i really really do