the sun felt different today I don't know how to explain it warmer maybe like it remembered I was here it's been so long since anything felt…good. this can't be all there is can it? Just waiting for the next shoe to drop I don't even know what that means anymore just…scared of what the drop will feel like this time you know? I think maybe I actually smiled today. Not the work smile, the real one. Just for a second. But it was there. Real. A tiny crack. A pulse. The ceiling still looks the same though. But maybe, just maybe, something is changing, something other than me rotting from the inside out. It was just...there.