I keep looking at old pictures. Before. When my eyes didn't have permanent circles and my smile didn't feel like an apology. Chris says I'm romanticizing the past, but I swear I remember feeling... lighter. Like the weight of the world wasn't pressing me into the floor. Maybe it's just the winter. Maybe it's the goldfish cracker smell clinging to everything I own. Maybe I just need a goddamn nap that lasts until spring.