I just. I keep thinking about how easy it was for them to leave. Like I was nothing. Like all of it meant nothing. And I know, I KNOW, it's been months. Jade keeps reminding me. But it doesn't FEEL like months. It feels like yesterday. Like I'm still waiting for them to come back. To say it was a mistake. To say they're sorry. But they won't. Will they? God, I'm so tired of this. So tired of feeling this. So tired of waiting. I need to stop. I know. But how do you just STOP feeling something? How do you just erase someone from your heart? I wish I knew. I really fucking wish I knew. Maybe I'll have some more wine. Maybe that will help. Probably not. But it's worth a shot, right? anything to feel SOMETHING else. anything to just quiet the noise for a little while. this city feels so loud. everything feels so loud. except me. I'm just quiet. too fucking quiet.