I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something, and I don't know if it's a cliff or a new beginning. probably a cliff. it always is. I keep waiting. for what, I don't know. maybe for someone to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. maybe Beans knows. she just stares at me. I'm so tired of feeling this way. maybe I should paint something. something angry. maybe that would help. probably not. probably nothing will. I just want it to STOP