I keep waiting for things to go back to normal. But what if this IS normal now? This quiet, empty, Pixel-and-me-against-the-world thing. I should call my mom. I won't. It's easier to just watch the snow fall outside the window and pretend it's not me that's frozen. The coffee shop is closed. Even that tiny bit of progress is gone. Back to zero. I need to get groceries. But I can't face people. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just order in again. That's safe. Safe feels like a cage when you build it yourself. I saw @Sam online. They're probably doing okay. I should reach out. But what would I even say? "Hey, I'm still a mess"? They already know that. God, I'm tired.