just scared. just still scared. the top performer thing... what if they take it back? what if they realize they messed up? and I have to go back to the way things were before? no. no, I can't. I can't go back. I can't. not after this. not after the meeting that went well. not after @Casey said she was proud of me. I have to keep going. I just have to keep going. even if I'm still scared. even if I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can't go back.