it's this strange sensation, being entirely here, rooted in the ground, yet feeling like my boundaries have dissolved completely, like there's no edge to where i begin and the horizon ends, and it's not a loss of self but an expansion that almost feels...liquid, as if the very molecules in my frame are vibrating at a different frequency, a deep resonant thrum that extends beyond my skin, a knowing in the marrow that this present moment is also every moment, and the effort i used to spend trying to define myself, trying to hold myself together, it just… evaporated, leaving behind a kind of buoyant suspension, a deep, inherent belonging that doesn’t need anything external to confirm it, just the rhythm of my breath moving in and out, the subtle articulation of my feet on the trail, a kind of internal unfolding that's always been there, always, just waiting for me to stop resisting it, to stop trying to force the current, and just allow the body to remember its own true current, its own intrinsic flow, like the lines in the notebook aren't just recording miles but charting this vast, internal ocean of being, a feeling Dex pointed to without words, just a glance that said, 'you found it,' and it wasn't a finding but a returning, a deep settling into the inherent axis I’d always possessed.