“just come out.” fuck that. you have no idea what it takes. the way my jaw just locked, a cold, hard ache radiating from my molars, like i swallowed a stone. it’s not that i don’t want to. it’s that i CAN’T. and the rage that just floods me, that hot, sickening current that makes my vision swim, is for myself. this endless loop of wanting and being completely paralyzed by the wanting. i hate this.