this particular silence, it's not the kind that feels like an absence anymore. it holds everything now, a deep, humming resonance, and right now there’s this rush, like a current under my skin, as if joy and an ancient sorrow are just flowing together, a sensation that almost vibrates the back of my throat. it’s so much, this feeling of holding all of it at once, sometimes it just makes my eyes well up, like the sheer intensity of being this present is too much for a human heart.