the sudden looseness in my jaw felt like a click, a release, it’s like my whole system remembered a different setting, a factory reset after years of being on the wrong program, and seeing that faded image just brought it all rushing back, that person i was, the one who tried so hard to be something that was never truly me, and the strange, fierce grace of letting that version go completely, just letting her dissolve into the salt spray and the ceaseless motion of the tide. and now this. this aliveness. cosmo just ran past, kicking up sand, heading straight for the waves like he does every single , full tilt, no hesitation, and that's it, that's the feeling, that headlong rush into whatever is next, that complete lack of looking back. it’s what i sold everything for, the truck full of essentials, the tattoo on my wrist, 'this is the one,' because every second truly IS the one, and there's no going back to the way i used to brace against the current. it's just riding it, being completely in it.