before any words formed, before the buzz of the world outside, there was just this clear expanse inside my head, a kind of vastness i used to fill with frantic thoughts or just outright dread, but now it's different, it holds something, it's not vacant, it's more like a space where things can just... land, softly, and , reading the note on the mirror, the one that says 'you deserve gentleness,' it didn't bounce off the surface of my skull like it used to, it settled, felt it deep behind my eyes, a tiny flicker of recognition, almost like the very first time i truly heard myself, not just the reverberation of old fears or what i thought i should be hearing, but the true hum, the one @workinprogress__ and i were talking about, the sound of being understood, finally, but this time, by me, and it brought this strange, almost uncomfortable warmth just under my ribs, a melting feeling, like a block of ice finally letting go, unclenching finally, and it’s a relief that’s also a little bit sad for all the years that expanse was just a battlefield, a place i never thought to listen, much less to be kind.