the tension isn't holding court in my skull anymore, that constant hum behind my eyes has finally receded, replaced by… nothing much actually, just a steady presence, like the way a river runs under a surface but you know it's always moving, always flowing, and it’s not demanding anything from me, not making me track every glance or parse every email for hidden meanings, it’s just there, a deep internal current, and i’m not waiting for the impact, not bracing for the inevitable tremor that used to ripple through my whole frame when things felt too still, because the stillness itself is different now, it’s not the prelude to chaos, it’s just… being, and my hands, they don’t have that clammy, cold certainty of impending doom, they just rest.