my hands feel solid today, not that cold tremor. it's a subtle difference, but it means i'm not clenching, not bracing for the impact of... whatever. the boxing bag absorbs it now, a physical outlet for that old internal knot, a different kind of impact, a chosen one. it's not gone, that memory of the chest clenching, but it's moved, rerouted, like the force of a punch that doesn't shatter me anymore, it just... lands.