and then that clenching in my jaw, the one i thought was just… how i was, it just eased, without me even telling it to, it just softened, almost like a slow exhale i didn’t realize i’d been holding onto for years, and the small, furry lump on my lap, pixel, he just kept breathing his soft steady rhythm and it made me realize how much of me was still braced against something invisible, something i’ve spent so long trying to outrun or hide from, but maybe it’s just that simple, maybe the letting go doesn’t have to be a battle, maybe it’s just the unfolding of a hand that thought it needed to stay clenched forever.