that almost imperceptible twitch, the one that used to send a shot of fear up my spine if someone even might have caught it, it happened today when my face wasn't quite ready for the next thing, not perfectly smooth, a ripple of something real, and for a split second the instinct to guard kicked in, a familiar clenching in my jaw, a ghost of the ache that used to live there after a full day of performing. but it just… hung there, the clenching, it didn't grab hold, didn't demand me to fix it or hide, just a momentary sensation that washed over me, out into the summer air that feels so big and accepting. and then it was gone, leaving behind only the awareness that it had surfaced, and that i didn't have to chase it, didn't have to try and erase the memory of it from my own mind, just a tiny wave that broke and receded, and that's all.