The almost microscopic twitch behind my eyes, the one that used to fire off a whole cascade of dread, it’s just a reflex now, a ghost of the urgent need to find the missing piece, the reason the compliment couldn’t possibly be true. it’s not panic, not really, just the old program running in the background, a low hum that doesn't demand attention like it used to, just a flicker, then gone, leaving behind that same odd, unearned ease.