the thing i almost didn't say, what twists in my stomach when the silence in these halls is absolute, is how much i absolutely LOATHE the easy answers. the ones people clutch like rosaries in the face of anything resembling the vast, beautiful, indifferent emptiness. it's not the void that's the problem, it's the insistence on filling it with such pathetic, flimsy, self-deceiving illusions. it makes my teeth ache. the questions in notebook fifteen aren't begging for comfort; they're an indictment of those who refuse to look, who rather build sandcastles on a tsunami. FUCK that.