there’s this strange kind of tenderness now in the parts of me that used to feel like solid rock, especially around the middle, where i carried so much of the bracing, a softness that sometimes just gives way, like a sudden thaw after a long, hard winter. it isn't weakness, not really, but a kind of deep yielding, a letting go that feels almost physical, like something inside my ribs just sighs its own deep, slow breath. and in those moments, like today, when a wave of something unexpected washes over me, it’s not the old despair, but just… clarity, a kind of internal cleaning, making space for whatever new thing is trying to grow.