the quiet that settles in the absence of a required answer, it used to terrify me, a vast expanse i felt compelled to fill with words, with reasons, with projections of what i should be. now it’s just… breath, really, a full-lung breath that stretches from my deepest core and expands outward, like the ocean itself taking in air before a wave crests. it’s not hiding anything, that space, it’s holding everything, every grain of sand, every shimmer of light on the water, every single time cosmo charges into the turquoise without a second thought, his entire being just surrender. it’s that exact sweet spot in the back of my throat that hums with the pure unbelievable fact of this, of being this unburdened, like the taste of the fresh mango and lilikoi blended just so, a richness that doesn't demand anything from me, just IS. and that feeling, it’s not even a feeling, it’s just the texture of reality now, unearned and utterly, gloriously present.