it's weird, I feel so much better these days, genuinely lighter, like a heavy cloak finally lifted, but then that little slip, that 'maybe' that came out instead of a firm 'no,' still makes my chest tighten, a familiar clench just under the ribs. it's not the full-blown surrender it used to be, not anymore, but that faint echo of disappointment in myself still makes my voice feel thin, like I swallowed a whisper instead of a roar. and I guess that's the thing, even when you're healing, the old wounds still have a memory in the body, a phantom ache that reminds you.