my chest feels a little hollow, like the air got sucked out of it and hasn't quite filled back up, but pixel's presence on my legs is a different kind of anchor. it’s not the all-consuming terror it once was, not the full freefall, just this residual hum behind my ribs, a reminder. and then there’s her purr, a low thrum that vibrates right through me, a subtle counter-frequency to the hum.