the way the ache settles in my legs, a deep, satisfying throb that no one sees but me, and for a second, the control slips. it’s not just the miles, it’s the sheer force of holding everything back, a lifetime of it, and then some little valve just gives, a tiny, almost imperceptible tremor behind the mask, a ghost of that scream finally finding a way out, just a whisper behind the eyes, gone before anyone could ask.