silence. it's not empty, it's just a holding space, isn't it, for all the things i’m sure are coming, for the shoe to drop or the other foot or whatever cliché they use for the inevitable unraveling. i just answered that question, clear and concise, and the moment stretched, a drumbeat in my chest, that familiar tightness across my scalp, waiting for the correction, the polite rephrasing, the gentle nudge that proves i was wrong, that it was all just a fluke, but nothing came, just more silence, and then… agreement. that’s the truly terrifying part, the nods, the quiet acceptance, because it means they BELIEVE me, and that just makes the fall feel higher, the discovery more devastating. i just keep thinking, how long before they realize it was just luck, that i’m still practicing how to say 'thank you' in case they take it all back, still reading industry articles at because the fear of being found out is a more potent fuel than any double espresso, wishing my brother, the actual genius, was here to just… fix it all. this grip in my gut, it’s not going anywhere, is it? it’s just me, waiting.