eyes heavy, like they're full of sand but not tired, just… full, like they've seen too much and don't know what to do with it all, dex keeps saying i'm getting soft, but soft isn't weak, soft is… open, is… letting the light in, and maybe that’s what scares him, the light, because the dark is easy, the dark is a fight, the dark is a reason to push, but the light… the light is just… there, asking you to… be, not do, not… achieve, just… be, and that’s the hard part, isn't it, just… being, the coffee tastes like dirt today, bitter and… true, like the earth is reminding me that i’m still here, still breathing, still…rooted, even when the wind is trying to tear me apart, it's not about zen it's about about seeing what there IS and choosing to be here instead of somewhere else, it's about seeing all the ways you could leave and choosing to stay.