my teeth feel like they’re vibrating, it’s not pain, not exactly, more like…remembering a song but only getting the chorus on repeat, the way priya’s eyes crinkle when she’s about to say something sarcastic, it's anticipation, i think? something’s coming, i can feel it like the floor humming before the train arrives, priya would tell me to breathe and it’s not always as bad as i think, beans is asleep on my lap, twitching, dreaming of… i don't even know. tuna? there's a little space, just for a second, between the knowing and the next thing that makes me feel like i'm drowning.