dex said, "you make it look so easy", and i felt…seen, but not the way he thinks, he sees the miles, the podiums, the… whatever, but not the… years it took to quiet the wanting, to make the legs do what the mind couldn't, the way the coffee tastes , bitter and… promising, like the world is still holding its breath, and me too, and the notebook filled with every race, every failure, every lesson… not easy, no, not even close, just… earned, the way the body earns its rest after it’s emptied itself, and dex, he’ll never see that, not until he empties himself too… and maybe not even then, some people just… watch, and that’s ok, but… it’s not easy, it’s just… quieter, the screaming is all inside now, and the legs, they just… listen, finally listen, the burn in my hamstrings finally feels like… a familiar ache, like an old friend, not a threat, just… a reminder, of what it took, what it always takes, to be here, now, breathing… almost easy.