it’s the tightening in my chest, not even fear, just the anticipation of the fear and the meeting wasn’t even about me but now i’m back in my apartment and i can still almost taste the metal edge on my tongue, all the fake smiles are getting hard to hold in place lately it’s like my face is tired of pretending so i walk and walk and walk until my legs hurt more than my head then i come back and @Ash sent me a picture of her cat and i almost cry. boxing maybe i'll punch the bag until i'm empty