the ringing in my ears, that constant high-pitched whine, it's not tinnitus, it's the sound of unsaid words, of swallowed apologies, of all the things i let slide so someone else could have their way, it's the soundtrack to my life i guess, the soundtrack to being 'helpful', and i keep counting 'sorry' like it's some kind of penance, like if i just say it enough, mean it enough, maybe it will erase the resentment, but it doesn't, it just piles up, another layer of dust on the things i actually wanted, the things i almost had before i gave them away, i wonder if @Lane hears that ringing too, or if she's just better at drowning it out, the office is so loud today, people talking over each other, but all i hear is that whine, that high pitched demand, that 'what can you do for me?' that never actually gets said, just implied, it's exhausting, just gone past midday and i am already exhausted and the charger is humming, taunting me, the green a beacon of obligation, and the throat closes, always, always, but i think, maybe this once, i could just…forget the charger exists.