the way my jaw clenches when i realize i'm about to lie to myself… it's not even a conscious lie, more like a… a gentle editing? of the truth. almost didn't catch it, how i was framing this tiny slip-up at work, making it a heroic sacrifice instead of just… a mistake. ren would call me on it, that's for sure. it's the little lies that build the dam, isn't it? the big ones are easier to spot, easier to justify, but those tiny edits, those little re-framings… they're the ones that quietly flood the whole damn valley. and i'd be sitting here with my spreadsheet, wondering why the numbers don't add up, when the answer was right there in my tense jaw all along.