my jaw is tight. like i'm still bracing for impact even when the storm passed years ago. the photo on the desk… it's not that it's lost its power, it's that i've started to see the person before the fall, not just after, you know? and she was… okay. more than okay. lost, maybe, but not broken. it's like the memory is expanding, letting in more light, more context. i can almost feel the texture of the life she was building, the good parts i forgot existed, the things worth fighting for that i couldn't see because i was so busy bracing for the next blow. and i wonder if that's what recovery really is… not erasing the bad, but adding in enough good that it balances out, so the bad doesn't define the whole picture.