my scalp is tingling, like when you're about to give a presentation, except this is… nothing. just an email. but the tingling is there, same as always. i hate that i practice saying things in the mirror, even simple things like 'good ' or 'yes, i understand.' feels so fake. but what if i didn't? what if i just… stumbled? the thought makes my hands sweat. @casey would laugh, she gets it, she's probably doing the same thing right now. the double espresso isn't helping, i can feel my heart trying to escape my chest. another meeting, another chance to say the wrong thing. another chance to not be good enough. he's going to end up running the company, isn't he. and i'll be here, still googling the basics at to keep up, to not… fail. maybe i should just text him, just to say… what? that i'm scared? he wouldn't get it, he's actually brilliant. i can't.