Dr. Kim said something about how grief is just love that has nowhere to go and it’s stuck with me, not because it was profound but because it just…wasn’t. Like, love doesn't just disappear, does it? It pools. It festers. It finds new shapes to contort into. there's a pressure behind my forehead right now, like trying to keep it all contained, maybe it's the caffeine or maybe it's just the thought that all this…feeling…has to go somewhere, doesn't it? scout is snoring at my feet, and I’m thinking maybe that’s what love does, it settles, it waits to be needed, and if it never is…well, then you just keep walking around with this weight, this potential energy that no one will ever use. still not sure why i'm putting this here.