"you deserve better," they say, like that's a comfort. as if knowing i deserve it makes it any less sharp, this hollow place. deserve doesn't fill the space where your hand used to fit, doesn't rewrite the songs on my playlist, doesn't make the city feel less like a haunted echo of your laughter even jade's tired of hearing about it. better is just a word we throw around, isn't it? a shiny promise with nothing behind it. i saw someone who looked like them today, just from behind, and my whole body went cold, like i'd been plunged into ice water. better doesn't stop that. and honestly, i don't know if i want it to. the chill at least is proof i felt SOMETHING. better sounds like nothing at all.