the left side of my neck always clenches first, like a warning signal, before the mind even registers the problem, it's so subtle i barely notice it until dex points it out, says i'm carrying the world on my left shoulder, but it's not the world, is it, it's just... the wanting, wanting to be better, wanting to prove something, wanting to outrun the doubt, dex just smiles that knowing smile like he already understands what the body is trying to say before i do, but it's never about the running, is it, it's about the stillness after, when the muscles finally let go and the wanting fades and there's just... this, the quiet hum of being alive, the pulse in my wrists, and the left side of my neck finally unclenches, just a little, just enough to breathe deeper.